Episode 2 - Turtle Racing

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T.O.

Nails will disagree, but I think TO is the best wide reciever , and person to ever live. Sure he called Garcia a homo- but look at the guy. Yes- TO did throw D-Nice under the bus - but he is garbage . Finally, when he gets a good QB, TO plays through the pain, and his QB comes up lame . TO, being the guy that he is , was quick to defend his friend. It would not be fair to blame Tony . Randy Moss turned over a new leaf this year, and I think it's time you guys get off of TO's back .

Open Season

It is time for kangaroos, another shrimp on the barbie, and tennis.  The Australian Open is in full swing starting tonight.  Lord only knows how happy my Grandmother is.  She has been waiting for this for a while.  With steroids practically showing up in every sport tennis has stayed clean.  However, the American men seem to need a little bust in performance.  Andy and James most definitely need to step their games up and win a tournament or two this season.  ESPN is broadcasting the games kind of late night so get your crocodile dundee on and tune in.

10 Things I Think I Think

I cant honestly say today has been one of the more boring days of my life. It has been not unlike the past week. In the last week, I have truly gotten nothing accomplished. I am so ready to start school on Wednesday. That's why today I have decided to declare Sundays from now on Recap Sundays - It will serve as a time for reflection. It will include "things i think i think" - an act of flattery to Peter Kings Monday Morning QB on si.com, which includes "10 things i think i think". Anyway, here goes the past week, in simple form. The list is a reflection of how the past week has gone. 

1. I am tired of being poor. Does is ever get any better ? Am I always going to live paycheck to paycheck?  I currently have less that $ 6 in the bank. Am I pathetic?

2. I am ready for Nails to come home. Despite Elder Crolley's arrival, I am still lonely. He has a wife now, and is occupied. The lack of funds certinly has not helped the boredom situation, but I am tired of watching TV with Darla.

3. I love my dog. I have fallen in love with Darla over the last few weeks. She has also learned not to poop in the house. She does however, like to get up early. As a sidentoe , my dad's dog Roscoe won a field trial this weekend . Congrats to Roscoe and Pops.

4. The writers strike is pretty whack. On Monday, I realized Chuck would not be coming on, but not until 8 pm when it was MIA. Also, I began watching 30 rock this week on dvd and it may be one of the funniest shows ever. Tracy Morgan made me wet my pants - twice. My favorite line was- "i love cornbread so much, I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant." C'mon writers- get it together ! 

5. Work blows. One day this week , from the hours of 10-5 my place of employment ( a popular suit provider) did a total of 36 dollars of business. I was laying on the floor at one point.

6. Football is awesome - still. Clearly I picked LSU to win on Monday, and they did. This weekend, Carolina got a few recruits they have been after. Sadly, today both teams I wanted to win did not . The Colts got pushed around by a dominant O Line from San Diego, and Tony Romo's Cowboys got away from their game plan on the second half. 

7. House cleaning blows. Shout outs to Mom back home . I don't know how she keeps the house clean. My house can be spotless one minute, and need scrubbing the next. I cant wait until I can afford a maid. 

8. God is good. This week my sisters adoption will become official. ( Special feature coming on Wednesday )Baby Rachel was very sick this week, but she is better now , and back to her normal , laughing , pooping , crying , being a baby self. 

9.I have a lot of friends. This past week I had to make my wedding invite list - it was longer than I expected, but not nearly as long as my bride to be -Anna. Her invite list had almost 3,000,000 people on it . Good thing her church holds 75.

10. I need to start exercising again. My weight is not the issue, but I don't feel as good as I could . I look forward to starting school this week just to get out of the house ! 

More to come next week, Nails, I'm waiting for your response. 

FreeStyle Friday- Engagement

let me hit the mic again , even if yall ain't listenin

dawg-   nails think he's gonna win again?

Free Style Fridays topic is my gettin' hitched

nails just jealous, cuz he keeps gettin' ditched

different girl, same story always end in tears

makes him drink much beer, hope he don't turn queer, that's his pop's biggest fear

back to the main topic thats me and my anna 

fine dime piece from the town of hannah

last christmas, dropped some change on a rock cuz i know she's the one

shes  handy with a gun, wont be mistaken for a nun, and she got a honey bun

I aint talking bout a backside , im talkin bout her check book

good thing her dad is loaded, cuz the weddin will make you look

matter fact look twice - (no music)all eyes on her and thats where they should be 

til that day, shes gonna work to make it go down 

unless her mama takes over, makes my baby girl frown

brains, power muscle, said goodbye to that old dude russell, got her little butt on the hustle

only thing that matters is being together when my hair gets grey 

nails gets to wear fly sneakers, so he cant wait for the day

(dramatic microphone drop)

(blow kisses to my boo on the way off stage)

Freestyle Fridayz-Engagement

yo, yo, yo turn my mic up!

I'll never find a love like this

Heard it before thats whack ish

You're the only one that knows me

You're the only one that can stand me

Buying rings that aint pinky is ridiculous 

Giving up all the ladies that are bootylicious 

Booty booty rockin everywhere 

Go to the strip club if you dare

The ring on that finger says I'm taken 

So I don't want what you're shakin' 

Dip slide ride on the weekends with your dudes

Come home late you'll be in many feuds 

You'll want some oochy wally wally on the side

Get it on the weekends in the front seat of the ride

The wifey will find a fingernail in the passenger 

You'll be on some Clinton stuff, I didn't bang her

While miss engagement reigns supreme right now

Word to your mother she'll turn into a cow

Engagements thats some whack ish ya heard (due respect to Greg) haha

Food Network Chefs Reviewed

Gida De Laurintiis
Holy cow. Is this lady sexual? Clearly. Her show is 3 minutes of cooking, 3 minutes of handwashing, and 20 minutes of cleve shots. I'm sure Gida is a nice girl, but she seems a bit unapproachable. She has the foreign thing working for her, but that scares me off a little . Secondly, what is with the eggplant? She makes eggplant ice cream, eggplant hamburgers, eggplant omelette's, etc. Her dishes are way different, and a little out of my league. Final ranking is a 7, but 6 of those points are just from looks. The day I see her fry something that isn't eggplant- Instant 8.







Ina Garten
It is no secret that I like the bigger ladies. Ina has it all: cooking ability, nice hair , killer eyes, nice smile, and popper collar. Her recipes are simple and easy, and I enjoy her show . Overall ranking is 6- 3 for looks and 3 for cooking.





Alton Brown
Let me start by saying no homo. Is Alton Sexy? No. Can Alton cook? You better believe it . Alton's show is awesome because he doesn't only tell you how to cook, he explains why things work the way they do. Alton keeps the food simple, but it works. On a
scale of 1-10, Alton gets a 5. The 5 points come merely from cooking ability.

Rachel Ray
Get out of my face. Rachel Ray this and Rachel Ray that. I am over Rachel Ray. Sure, RR is cute at first glance, but at second glance, not so much. Rachel Ray's hands make Shaq's hands look small. I'm 80 % sure RR could palm planet earth. A lesser known fact about RR is her voice is played in a prison camps in other countries. Rachel Ray takes a lot of risks in the kitchen. Her dishes are average, but why rush it every day? Thirty minutes is okay but lets take it slow Rachel ! Overall ranking is 6.


Sandra Lee
Sandra is at the top of my list. No Sandra, it does not go unnoticed that your sweater is too tight . Sandra has a taste for the finer things in life, including nice wine. Though her recipes are a little upscale, it's forgivable because of her look. Her ranking is an 9.5, just because I don't give 10's.






Paula Deen
Paula Deen is the mayo to my sandwich. She is the peanut butter to my chocolate. The milk to my cookie. The accent. The hair. The eyes. The butter. Paula is the kind of gal you can bring home to Mama. She is also the kind of girl that will not order a salad at dinner. That is unless it has fried chicken on top. Paula's signature dish is called "better than sex cake." Paula is on record saying the cake is good, but nothing is better than. . . you get the idea. Her recipes are usually delicious, never too complicated, and scream confederacy. Paula is the only gal that can make my heart beat faster, and my cholesterol level rise. Overall ranking on the 1-10 scale is 64.