Gida De Laurintiis
Holy cow. Is this lady sexual? Clearly. Her show is 3 minutes of cooking, 3 minutes of handwashing, and 20 minutes of cleve shots. I'm sure Gida is a nice girl, but she seems a bit unapproachable. She has the foreign thing working for her, but that scares me off a little . Secondly, what is with the eggplant? She makes eggplant ice cream, eggplant hamburgers, eggplant omelette's, etc. Her dishes are way different, and a little out of my league. Final ranking is a 7, but 6 of those points are just from looks. The day I see her fry something that isn't eggplant- Instant 8.
Ina Garten
It is no secret that I like the bigger ladies. Ina has it all: cooking ability, nice hair , killer eyes, nice smile, and popper collar. Her recipes are simple and easy, and I enjoy her show . Overall ranking is 6- 3 for looks and 3 for cooking.
Alton Brown
Let me start by saying no homo. Is Alton Sexy? No. Can Alton cook? You better believe it . Alton's show is awesome because he doesn't only tell you how to cook, he explains why things work the way they do. Alton keeps the food simple, but it works. On a
scale of 1-10, Alton gets a 5. The 5 points come merely from cooking ability.
Rachel Ray
Get out of my face. Rachel Ray this and Rachel Ray that. I am over Rachel Ray. Sure, RR is cute at first glance, but at second glance, not so much. Rachel Ray's hands make Shaq's hands look small. I'm 80 % sure RR could palm planet earth. A lesser known fact about RR is her voice is played in a prison camps in other countries. Rachel Ray takes a lot of risks in the kitchen. Her dishes are average, but why rush it every day? Thirty minutes is okay but lets take it slow Rachel ! Overall ranking is 6.
Sandra LeeSandra is at the top of my list. No Sandra, it does not go unnoticed that your sweater is too tight . Sandra has a taste for the finer things in life, including nice wine. Though her recipes are a little upscale, it's forgivable because of her look. Her ranking is an 9.5, just because I don't give 10's.
Paula Deen
Paula Deen is the mayo to my sandwich. She is the peanut butter to my chocolate. The milk to my cookie. The accent. The hair. The eyes. The butter. Paula is the kind of gal you can bring home to Mama. She is also the kind of girl that will not order a salad at dinner. That is unless it has fried chicken on top. Paula's signature dish is called "better than sex cake." Paula is on record saying the cake is good, but nothing is better than. . . you get the idea. Her recipes are usually delicious, never too complicated, and scream confederacy. Paula is the only gal that can make my heart beat faster, and my cholesterol level rise. Overall ranking on the 1-10 scale is 64.
