Something Fishy

There are many strange things in this world that we don’t understand such as…why hot dogs come in 8s and hot dog buns come in 10, how fax machines work, and why Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher. But one thing that has extremely perplexed our little minds as of late is the growing epidemic of the fish sandwich. Perhaps Captain D’s started the trend or maybe even McDonalds with the Filet-O-Fish. All we know is it is here ladies and gentleman and it is stronger than ever!
Happy was the day just a few years ago when we thought we had seen the death of this monstrosity. We were back to ordering hamburgers, French fries, chicken nuggets, apple pies, milkshakes…anything but the fish sandwich. But no, not anymore…it did not die my friends, it seems as if it went away and has only come back with a roar such as what the spice girls are going for right now.
Let me start from the beginning… earlier this week while cruising along river avenue minding my own business, smoking a cig and I look to my right. “what do I see?” you ask, oh let me tell you… a huge cling on sticker inside of the window at WENDY’s, home of the hot juicy burger, asking customers to come inside and try their new FISH sandwich. I thought it was weird but dismissed it as just a peculiarity. As I kept driving I looked to my right and as always there was Arbys, home of the ROAST BEEF sandwich, quite familiar with this buildings exterior setting I look at the signs on the windows and what was there you ask? A huge sign begging me to try their FISH sandwich. So the same exact phenomenon has continued to take place at several other fast food establishments that are near to our hearts such as….McDonalds, Burger King, Hardees, KFC, White Castle, Whataburger and Checkers. FISH sandwiches people. Let me say it again FISH SANDWICHES!!!!
Fish sandwiches typically are a fried patty of some sort of “fish”, a dollop of tartar sauce, some even come with cheese, all on a toasted bun. What on God’s green earth makes this sound appetizing? If you offered me a fart sandwich on white bread I would take that before I would eat a fish sandwich much less pay for one. As we poll people around the campus about this growing plague, most seem just as offended by them as we are. A common response is “their disgusting”, “sick”, “their nasty” and the best response we’ve heard…“id rather eat vomit than eat one of those”.
But clearly people like these fish sandwiches because they are being sold. People are buying them… all we can really say is that if you are one of these people we feel bad for you but there is no judgment…It’s just that if my taste buds were incompetent like yours id want sympathy too just not criticism. We don’t know how long the fish sandwiches will last this time but we do know we are sick and tired of seeing them advertised. We could debate all day with fish sandwich lovers about why we think this is the biggest disgrace to a sandwich bun ever but for now we are just screaming STOP THE INSANITY!